I hate days like this.
Again paying close attention to all my failures, all my bad choices, and knowing that they all led me to this point. I choose this. Unintentionally, I choose every bit of this.
The universe does not care what my intentions are. It does not care where I want to be. It does not care about me…the meaningless speck of dust floating on this speck of dust of a planet, floating on the speck of dust which is our solar system, and on down the line.
The universe only cares about itself and balance. The whole thing continues on without skipping a beat. I just feel like the drum today. Taking an emotional beating.
I just want for once in my whole F’n life for something incredibly good to happen to me and stay.
Usually when good things happen life want to maintain the balance and throw some equally bad with it. UGH!
I need to just be a recluse. Blocking the world out. Never meeting new people or doing new things. Would is suck? Yes. It would dull and boring. Sounds better than all the ups and downs… ok.