Getting back on track

At least I’m trying to.  I’m juggling far to many things in life at the moment to have time to journal my life, which is something I like to do.  So this means my priorities are out of whack.  Just like my knees right now.  Doing Gobs of squats everyday is killing my knees.

Really though, I have too much on my plate these days and it is filling me with anxiety.  So when things like having a sick kid falls in my lap I kinda fall apart inside.  I have anxiety at work about them and when I am home I have anxiety at home about not being at work.  It’s an ugly cycle.  Why can I just roam the world with kids in tow?  Why can’t I just follow my earthly instincts and become one with it instead of fighting against it to fit into the society norm?  I will tell you why!  Because of stupid people.  People who we let dictate our lives to fit into their own.  Because of rule makers.  Because it makes people uncomfortable.  Because being a “good mother” wouldn’t abandon a “normal” life to nourish her kids in a fulfilling, adventurous one instead.  One where we are always exploring.  Always feeling alive.  Always thinking outside of ourselves.

No instead we will stay in one spot forever. :/  Not ever getting the chance to follow our noses.  Maybe one day.  When I get the guts and a way.  *sigh*

Well even though I feel this way, we did have a lovely and busy weekend.

I have the sunburn to prove it.  I mowed a lot!  You might not know that mowing is so zen for me.  I love doing it.  It distracts me from myself.  Thoughts go away and I just cut grass.

April 2015 296

We made smores, we caught tad poles, we went on a walk, we snuggled, we skinned knees, we cried, we got better.  Nature is healing.  Life is something I am just not content with passing by like robots.  This weekend I soaked it up.  I want more of that.

On that note cakes are calling my name.

J-Bird

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