As the clock ticked….

Or tocked.  Which ever is louder.  I laid there this morning in bed.  Laid there for a long time lost in thought.  I had weird dreams.  One where I was needed at work because I needed to make more cakes.  No matter how many cakes I made it wasn’t enough.  I could not work fast enough.  I think I needed the weekend to be here.

Ended up going to work for a bit today.  Why……because they ran out of cakes.  Imagine that!

The other dream I had was in the past, or of the past, or of someone in the past.  I have had dreams of this person before.  It is so weird though because I haven’t spoken to said person in a decade.  I don’t even care about this person anymore.  The dream is always full of chaos.  Always us trying to talk or hangout but everything around is messed up.  I keep forgetting stuff which slows me down or things keep getting in the way.  So weird.

Anyways. It got me thinking about people I have come across in life.  Friends.  Ex boy friends.  Ex husbands.  Family.  Activities I used to be involved in.  No matter what the thing is I was involved in, I always destroyed it.  Or been a part of its destruction.  Either way it dissolved and went on without me in it.  And went on better for that matter.  Like every single situation has been this way.  I talked to Sand C. this morning about it.  He had his view on it.  Maybe I’m an agent of Chaos!!!  Maybe I am!

I am here to wreak the shit out of people’s lives, so that they then can pick up the pieces and make their lives better.  I absorb the negativity in the process.  It seems to be this way so far.

It was explained to me like this……..  Being an agent of chaos is fine.  ( I beg to differ)  I just need to find another agent of chaos to be with.  We could take the world on together. lol

Kind of like being a tornado.  Tornadoes aren’t bad.  What makes them bad is that we are in the way.  Tornadoes just wanna spin.  And keep things. lol

imagesCan_20I_20keep_20it_small

I’m like a tornado who doesn’t know until now that I mess crap up.  ugh..   Thank SC for the realizations.

Also thank you for showing me Sylvan Esso.  My new favorite song is Wolf.  Enjoy, or don’t.  I won’t care either way.

Lyrics

The modern wolf, he’s kinder
But seeing we, it’s a reminder
Don’t wear no suits, we’re talking t-shirts
See how he glides, makes women shiver

Ahoo, Ahoo

He ain’t no Jack, his voice is smoother
Been bending notes, just like his father

Ahoo, Ahoo

But no birds or beast does he eat
He only wants the tenderest meat
And all the sounds he makes em speak
Under all different patterns of sheets.

Colors blind, oh, dopamine.
And she looked so good when they were last seen

Ahoo, Ahoo

The modern wolf, the modern wolf
Drippin’ in all the lives that he took
He’s going home, try to wash them off
But when he shaves, he hears them call

Ahoo, Ahoo

J-bird

Read more: Sylvan Esso – Wolf Lyrics | MetroLyrics

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